Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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