P.S. I can't hear my feet
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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