Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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