Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
