your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
