Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
