i don't plan on having that self control this summer
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
