Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
