even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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