I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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