well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do you have feelings for this penis?