But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize