Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
