What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
