return my video game
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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