Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
