Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
