I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.