She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable