my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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