He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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