And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
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Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
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Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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