Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
