I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
