What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
