i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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