sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
