i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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