You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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