Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
