Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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