i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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