That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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