don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just gift wrapped bread.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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