Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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