we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
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Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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