i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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