brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
