ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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