Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Come on in and take your pants off
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