My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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