it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize