If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he shaved USA in his pubs
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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