I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
