So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My vagina is officially offended.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
