this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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