i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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