What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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