i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
