I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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