well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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