Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
His nipple licking is glorious
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