dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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