I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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