There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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