Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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