Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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