Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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